Title: Faith Makes Amends
Author: Tnbella
Rating: R
Spoilers/Setting: AtS Post-Not Fade Away
Summary: Faith and Giles attend Wesley's funeral...

Faith Makes Amends

The call came, unexpectantly. Giles was shocked to hear Angel's voice, but even more shocked at the news of Wesley's passing. Over the years, Wesley had contacted him, and they became good acquaintances. Hearing of his untimely death was upsetting; however, Giles' thoughts instantly shifted to a certain Slayer when Angel told him he needed to inform Faith as well.

Faith had left for Boston after the battle with The First. Now, it was time to pay her a visit.

***

Faith enjoyed training and fighting. She found a gang of renegade Slayers out patrolling and decided to take 'em under her wing. That was four months ago. Since then, they'd followed her commands as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and Faith loved it.

Being a leader definitely didn't suck.

She was chillin' in her pad, watching SpongeBob, when she heard a knock at the door. Her landlord had been on her ass about the rent, but Faith needed more time to scrap the money together. The little Mexican was seriously pissing her off. "Yo, Eddie, I'll have the rent next week! Go the fuck away!"

Two more knocks rapped out before she got up and jerked it open. "I said-" She shut her mouth as she came face to face with Rupert Giles. Not one for beating around the bush, Faith asked, "What're you doing here, Giles? Something happen to B?"

Faith moved aside and let the older man enter. He, nervously, cleaned his glasses and said, "No, no. Buffy is doing just fine. She's not the reason for my visit."

"Okay. So...what's up?"

"I'm not sure if you're aware, but Angel and his associates took out the members of a demon cult called The Circle of the Black Thorn. Unfortunately, not everyone survived."

"I knew SoulBoy had something sneaky up his sleeve. He never got around to telling me everything, though." When Faith heard 'not everyone survived', she immediately became frantic and worried. "Is it Angel? Did some fucker stake Angel?"

"I assure you, Faith; Angel was not one of the casualities. He's the one who delivered the news to me, actually."

"Not Angel, huh? Who died, then?"

"I'm afraid there's no easy way to tell you this, so I might as well just come out with it. Wesley was killed."

Faith furrowed her brow and in a soft voice, asked, "Wesley? Are you sure?"

"Quite sure, Faith. I'm terribly sorry."

She sat in the nearest chair she could find, shock setting in. "How did he die?"

"He was fighting a powerful sorcerer and got stabbed."

"Stabbed?" Faith scoffed. "Come on, man. Wes can take a lot of shit. It had to be something worse than that."

"I'd rather not give you the gory details. Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Yes, I fucking do!" She screamed, jumping to her feet. "Tell me the truth!"

Not letting her outburst get to him, Giles faced the young, angry woman. "You don't want to know."

Faith stepped away, shaking off her rage. "Sorry. It's just....I need to know. Didn't mean to lose it on ya."

Relieved that she was calming down some, he relented. "I understand the need to know, Faith, so I'll tell you. I just hope you can handle hearing it."

"I'm cool. Go ahead."

He doubted very seriously that Faith was 'cool' at the moment, but nevertheless, he continued. "The-the sorcerer stabbed Wesley with a long knife and twisted the blade. Wesley only lasted a few moments. According to one of Angel's associates, he went peacefully."

"I see," Faith replied, grabbing her leather jacket and an axe beside the kitchen table, she made her way to the door. "I think I need to find this sorcerer and return the favor."

Thwarting her retreat, Giles called out, "That's unnecessary, Faith. The sorcerer is already dead. Wesley has been avenged."

She fought with the urge to run, but turned around to inquire on an issue niggling at the back of her mind. "Why didn't Angel come? Why did he send you to be the message boy?"

"He thought it would be better if I told you. He said, a matter of this delicacy, should be addressed by someone who understood the Watcher/Slayer dynamic."

At that, Faith burst out laughing. "Watcher/Slayer dynamic? Oh, that's rich. In case you've forgotten, Wes and I never had that," she said, sounding more angry by the minute.

Shaking his head, ruefully, Giles was amazed at the girl's behavior. "Faith, take it from one who knows, you did, indeed, have the bond. Just because you were apart, means nothing. Even when I quit, I still felt Buffy; her pain, her struggles, her fear. It doesn't go away when one leaves; it remains intact for all time. You may have been in prison, but Wesley still knew what was best for you. He knew you were the right one for the job, so he freed you. He was so ecstatic, phoning me after you left Los Angeles. He was proud of you, because you were his Slayer, Faith..."

She interrupted him, not wanting to listen any longer. "Stop. Just...stop. I get it, okay."

"I'm only telling you the truth. I thought you should know how he felt."

Ignoring that statement, she tried to think of a way to end the uncomfortable discussion. "Is that all you wanted to tell me?"

"There's one more thing."

"What?"

"Angel has arranged a small, private funeral for Wesley. You've been invited. I'm here to extend the invitation."

"No way. Can't do it. Sorry." Putting her jacket on, she headed toward the door again. "Hate to say 'hi' and 'bye', here, Giles, but I got somewhere I need to be. Thanks for dropping by. See ya around." She had no reason to get angry with the man, but Faith wanted to be alone and get her 'slay on' in order to forget what he'd just told her.

Giles didn't attempt to stop her. "It's your choice, of course."

Holding the door open for him to leave, Faith stood, waiting. "Yep."

However, that didn't mean he was giving up. "Angel really wants you to come. I think you should reconsider."

"I'll swing by later. Lay some flowers down at his gravesite or some shit like that. I can't leave right now."

"Think of all the things you wanted to say to him, Faith. This could give you the closure you need to move on."

"I moved on. I don't need closure."

"Very well, if you're sure, that is?"

She thought back on that last conversation she had with Wesley. Faith had promised to keep in touch, but she never did. Somewhere inside of her, she knew she had to do this; whether she wanted to or not.

"Fine. I'll go. When do we leave?"

Giles smiled and handed her a ticket from his inside pocket. "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning, 7 sharp."

Taking the proffered ticket, Faith tucked it in her jacket. "Wait a sec...you knew I was going to say 'yes', didn't you?"

"I thought as much, yes."

"You Watchers are so shady."

"But we always get the job done."

She smirked, waving to Giles as he left.

'Looks like I'm goin' back to L.A.'

***

Despite the bad blood between Angel and Giles, they tolerated each other at the service. Others in attendance were Spike, Illyria, and Gunn--in a wheelchair. It angered Faith that they had lived and Wesley died, but she didn't let it show. In fact, she didn't let anything show. She was leaning against a tree a few yards away, watching--a cigarette perched between shaking fingers--puffing away her frustration and pain. She dressed in all black but decided on a low-key outfit instead of her usual leather ensemble. The wind was blowing a chilly, drizzling rain as silent tears slid down her stoic face.

After the first part of the burial was over, Faith spotted Giles coming her way.

"Nice service. Can we go now?"

'Bloody hell, this girl is stubborn!' Giles thought. He'd noticed how she distanced herself and was determined to have words with her. He realized she was hurting; grieving a man she barely had a chance to know fully, but Faith needed to come to terms with things. It was time for the Slayer to face her inner demons.

"Faith, at least say something to Angel. You can not just stand over here and hide. We came to pay our respects. I've done my part, now do yours." Faith contemplated that for a moment then slowly made her way over to Angel. Trying to act nonchalant, she snuffed out her cig on the bottom of her boot, and touched Angel's arm to get his attention.

"I just wanted to say I'm....sorry about Wes. I'm not really sure why I'm here, but I am, and I've never done anything like this before, so that's the only thing I know to say." Angel looked over at her, a faint smile perking his lips. "Thanks, Faith. It means a lot that you're here." Faith attempted a smile of her own but instead, shuffled her feet, nervously. "Would it be okay, if I had a minute to...say goodbye." Touched at Faith's uncharacteristic shyness, Angel said, "Go right ahead." With misty eyes, she mumbled out a 'thank you' and approached Wesley's coffin.

She waited until Angel was gone before she began to speak. "Hey, Wes. Um....I wanted to tell ya some stuff. I didn't get the chance before, because I had to leave with Will, but I'm really glad we got to kick ass together. It was....fun; felt good, ya know. Felt right, somehow. And you were wicked cool with that shotgun. I was impressed." She sniffed back some tears. "Thank you for believing in me, despite all the crap between us. I like to think I'm a better person 'cause I went through all that, but sometimes, I forget, and things get hard, and I realize that-" The tears came more frequently, and she's fast losing her composure. "God, I'm sorry, I hurt you. I didn't mean it. I was lost and fucked up and I don't know. It's not supposed to be you. Never you. I'm the fucking Slayer! I die; not you! Not right. None of this is right. I can't....I can't." Her hands covered her face as she crumbled to her knees, sobbing openly.

Faith pounded her fists into the ground like the tiles in Wesley's shower, and then she rose, wiping the tears away. "I have to go. I can't be here. Rest in peace, boss. You were one helluva Watcher." She kisses two fingers and places them on the lid of the coffin. "Later, Wes." From his spot, Giles smiled and whispered, "You did a good job with her, Wesley. You would be proud." Faith took a deep breath, steadied herself, and zoomed past Giles, yelling, "Let's book, G!"

Giles and Faith didn't discuss what happened in the cemetary. Some things were private and the elder Watcher understood that. She went back to her life in Boston and he resumed his work as Head of the new Watcher's Council.

Ashes to ashes; dust to dust. What's done is done.

Faith had left the pain from the past in the rain soaked ground.